B.3 Chapter 5. Please don't fight.

I walked to Freds holding Camerons hand. He was smiling the hole way.

I smiled back.

We knocked, Fred answered.

"Ooohhh, you guys!" He was smiling at us holding hands.

"Yes, us guys" Cameron and I said at the same time.

We laughed.

We walked in and sat down. We heard a knock at the door, Fred went to get it, and Cameron kissed me, i kissed back.

Fred cleared his throught, "Uhh. Cameron, hands to yourself" he said.

Cameron removed his hands from my hips. I blushed, and giggled.

Cameron tapped my nose, "I love you" he said.

I laughed, "I love you too" i smiled.

A girl was next to Fred, she had black hair, and was wearing alot of blue eye makeup. He had his arm around her waist.

"Hannah, Cameron, I'd like you to meet, Sue" he blushed "My girlfriend"

He kissed her forehead.

"Hi Sue" Cameron said. Then smiled.

"Hi" i smiled too.

"Hello, gang" she laughed.

I pretended to laugh. Oh, my she was a bit...lame.

I looked at her clothes, she smiled, it was a nice old fashioned shirt, and a red stripy top.

"Hannah, your clothes are so funky" she grinned.

What do i say?

"Thanks" I smiled. I had to be nice.

I heard Cameron muffle a laugh, and pretend to cough, i elbowed him in the ribs.

"Owch" he yelped.

I laughed, then Sue laughed, basically her laugh was very high pitched and made u want to shove a pillow so far in your ear, that it burst your ear drum.

I forced a smile. I had to bare this all afternoon. Kill.Me.Now...please.

She was nice, her hair was nice, her red top fitted well, and pink was her colour, her skirt was brown, and was very old fashioned, but i liked it.

"So, Hannah...Where do you shop for clothes?" she said in a canadian accent.

"Anywhere" i said "Where do you shop?" i asked.

"50's popers" she laughed. Then took a sip of her wine.

"Wow. i've never seen that place" i said. I really hadn't, id only heard old woman talking about it, on the bus. Oh, god.

After i left Freds, Cameron burst into laughter.

"umm...Hannah?" he said.

"Yes? what" I asked.

"What is with her!?" he burst out laughing again.

I tryed not to laugh, coz she was nice, i couldn't help it. I cracked, and burst into a laughing fit.

We went into my house, and sat on the sofa, i made some hot chocolate, and some popcorn, we watched a couple of movies, then i moved closer to him, and he put his arm more firmly around me, he leant in and kissed me.

"mmm, sweet popcorn flavor, i like!" he smiled, then kissed me more.

I kissed back.

I went to the bathroom, and brushed my teeth, then slipped on a nighty.

I went back through to find no-one there.

"Cam?" i called.

"In here, darling!" He called, from the bedroom.

"Oh" i said, then wondered in.

He took my hand, then pulled me ontop of him. We started kissing, them we heard a knock at the door. By this time i was in my undies, and Cam was in his jeans.

I ran to the door, wearing a towel. I opened.

"Oh, Hannah, what have you been- " he trailed off, understanding what i was doing.

I laughed. I felt my face get hot.

"Come in" i said, then let him in.

He walked in, and Cameron was sitting on the sofa in his jeans.

"Oh, my" Fred said.

I went to make food, and coffee.

I heard talking, then a mumble. Then a shout.

"What, she's my girlfriend, how dare you say that!" Fred shouted.

"WELL...IT'S TRUE, SHE IS A BIT LAME" he defended himself.

I couldn't move, i was scared.

"Cameron, I hate you, Why the hell is Hannah dating you, your such a jerk!" Fred said angrily.

I stormed through, "Im dating him, because i love him, and he's not a jerk, your girlfriend is a bit lame!" I yelled.

Cameron put his arm around me, and i looked at Fred.

"Sorry, Hannah, i didn't mean it" Fred said.

"It's okay" i smiled.

"Nooooo, it's not, Fred i want to talk to you outside" Cameron said.

Oh dear, outside!

I walked to the door, and listened.

"SO...YOU THINK IM A JERK!?" Cam yelled at Fred.

A tear slipped down my cheek. Why was i crying?

"YES, I DO, I WISH I HAD NEVER INTRODUCED YOU TO HANNAH!" Fred screamed back at Cam.

I couldn't take it much longer.

"YOUR A DICKHEAD FRED, YOUR SUCH A LOSER, AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND MATCHES YOU!" Cameron yelled.

"WELL..." Fred said, then i heard someone hit somebody.

"WHAT THE HELL!?" i yelled out the door.

Cameron was rubbing his face, and Fred was rubbing his arm.

"Your both idiots!" i yelled, then slammed the door.

I went to bed, but i got woken up about 30 minutes later, with a knock at my door.

I was in my undies, but i didn't care, i opened the door.

"What!?" I said.

"We're sorry, and we've worked it out!" They said.

"Great." i mumbled.

"Sweetie, can i come in?" Cam asked, then smiled.

"Sure, why not" i said angrily.

"Bye, Fred" I said, then slammed the door.

"Sorry hannah" He said, throught the door.

I walked away into my room, then slipped into bed. I felt someone get in next to me.

"Im so sorry, for earlier" Cameron apologized.

"Okkkay" I yawned.

I moved closer to him, and snuggled into him, he was warm.

"I...Love...you" i said, then fell asleep.

I felt him kiss my lips.

B.3 Chapter 4. I do love you.

"Hello?" I answered my phone.

"Hannah? " Cameron said.

"Hey, what is it?" i asked. Things were a little akward between us, because of what happened at the river, but that didn't stop us talking.

"Can i see you today?" He asked.

"Sure, when?, where?" i agreed.

"Uhh...Coffee?" He asked.

"Yes, i'll meet you there, now-ish?"

"Yes, nows good" He said.

We hung up.

I had a shower and got changed, then ran to the coffee shop.

he waved at me, he was sittng inside at a window seat, im glad, it was a cold day.

I walked in, and sat across from him.

The waitress came over, "Hi, what can i get you?" she said in a thick Irish accent.

"Oh, umm...two coffee's, please" I mumbled.

She smiled, "Sure"

"Thanks" Cameron added.

She smiled at him.

"So, hows things?" Cameron asked.

"Okay, i guess, what about you?"

"Well, My dad got a new job" he said.

"Great" i said, happily.

"In China" he added.

"Oh" i looked at the floor. "Why there?"

"Umm...sales man" he said.

"Ah, right" i said, understanding fully now, "How long for?"

"A year, mums gonna miss him too much" He said, then looked worried.

"Hmmm? couldn't she go with him?" i asked.

"I suppose, but she likes it here, and she hates moving" He added.

"Oh, well, im sure it'll work out" I said, thinking positivly.

The waitress came over with our coffee's, "Thanks" i said.

"No problem, enjoy" she said, then turned and her golden hair swished around.

"Shes pretty" I pointed out.

"She's okay" he said, "But, your beautiful" He smiled.

I blushed, then grinned at him, "Thanks"

"Your rather petty yourself" I joked, we laughed.

"Why thankyou" He stroked his hair, then laughed. I giggled.

After we finished our coffee's, we went for a walk, up the other end of town, i hadn't really been here much, it was were all the rock concerts were held.

As we were walking Cameron turned to me, "Hey, umm...i got 2 tickets for this concert, wanna come? " he asked.

"Sure, when?" i asked. "And what band?"

"Tomorrow night, and Korn" He said, then rubbed his arm.

"Yes, sure" I said. We kept walking, he stopped at a door, it led up to flats.

"Well, this is where i live" He said, "Wanna see inside?"

"Sure, i like it here" I said. I looked around.

"Okay, this is where i sleep" he laughed, while he pointed to a room just off from the front door, it was a nice room, it was really homey-ish.

"Nice" i nodded.

"ANd this is living room, bathroom, kitchen, study" He pointed to all the doors, while we stood in his living room.

"I like your house" i smiled.

"You know, you have the prettiest smile" He complimented me.

"Oh, thanks" i fetl my face get hot.

"You blush lots too" He added.

"You add in a lot of things" I pointed out the obvious.

We laughed.

"Well i better go, i've got to go see my brother it's his 8th birthday tomorrow" i said.

I went to hug him, i hugged him, then kissed his cheek, "Take care" i said.

"I-" he was gonna say something, "I'll see you tomorrow"

"Yepp, bye " i walked home. I listened to my ipod.

I was humming, when i walked into someone, "Oh, sorry" i said.

I picked up there things, i read the name on the book Freya.

I looked up, "Hey hannah" she said, then smiled.

"Freya!" i hugged her.

"How are you? " she asked.

"Great, im just coming from Camerons place, how are you?" i said.

"great, guess what!" she said excitedly.

"WHAT!?" i jumped.

"Jeremy proposed!" she grinned, and showed me her finger.

"Oh, my, Im so happy for you!" i hugged her again.

Thats Mel and Freya engaged. haha.

"Well, bye for now" i said, then walked off, with my ipod in again.

I walked to Mum's house happily, and walked in.

"MUM?" i called.

Sam ran up to me, "Hannah!" He screamed.

"Oh, my, your getting big, Your almost 8, are you excited?" i asked.

"Yes, Im in Grade 3!" he yelled.

"I know, Im still older" i laughed, he stuck his tounge out at me.

He ran off, becuase spongebob came on.

"Mum?" i shouted.

"Hannah!" she called from the kitchen.

I walked through and hugged her.

"How are you honey?" she asked.

"Great, Im going to a concert tomorrow with Cameron!" I said, happily.

"Oh, is Cameron Your boyfriend?" she asked, smiling.

"No, just a friend" I said.

"Okay, suure" she said teasingly.

"Mum!" i said moaningly.

"Aww, hannah, you know im joking" she said.

"Yes, Anyway, i came to give you sams Present, so you can give him it straight away, because I will be here later than 8am" I laughed.

She laughed too, "Yes, your not exactly a morning persent"

I laughed. "Well, i'll see you tomorrow"

I left, and went home.

I went to bed, it was getting late enough to sleep. I was so excited about the concert tomorrow. Im sure it was going to be fun.

I woke up, it was raining, i still straightened my hair, and got dressed in a dress, fro Sams Birthday. I went over, all our relatives were there, they all sid i was beautiful, and had grown up well. I smiled, and went along with it all. Before i new it it was 6:30. Time to go home and get ready.

I put on black skinny's, and a new red top, it had writing on it, it said ' I'll always remember, and refuse to forget'. It reminded me of Andrew. I thought well of him now, not sadly, i will never sheed another sad tear for him, I must think of the great times i have had with him, and cry joyful tears. I had moved on, it just took about 2 years. Gosh, i wasted a bit of my life, which could end at any time. I straightened my hair again, and put some eyemakeup on. Then i heard the door bell ring, i answered, "Hello?"

"Hey, it;s me Cameron" he said.

I opened the door, I hugged him.

"Ready ye-. You look nice" He said.

"Thanks" i blushed.

I grabbed a grey coat and a black scarf and left the house.

We walked there, once we arrived, we got our hands stamped. The stamp was a red smiley face.

We came just in time, Korn came onto the stage as we mashed in with the crowd.

They started playing 'Coming undone'. I loved this song, it was great. Cameron and I jumped along with everyone esle,then we went and sat down, i had water in my bag, so we shared a bottle.

I guzzled down a lot, and he finished the rest.

"Thanks" he said.

He took my hand and we went to sit on some stairs at the side. We yelled over the music to each other. I put my head against his shoulder.

After the concert was over, he walked me to the other side of the river, then we sat and drank some water, that we had bought on the way.

"Thanks, for taking me tonight, i had loads of fun" i said. then smiled.

"It's no problem, im glad you came" He smiled at me, "Wanna come to my place?"

"Yes" i answered.

We went to his house. We sat on his sofa, it was comfy.

"Your sofa is more comfortable that Freds" i said randomly.

He laughed, "I should hope so"

I laughed, "So have you and Fred been friends for a while?" i asked.

"Yep, since Primary" he said.

"Cool" i said.

"Im glad he introduced me to you, your really cool Hannah" he blushed a little.

I giggled, "Im not the only one that blushes"

He looked embarassed, He laughed.

He moved closer, and put his arm around me. I looked at him.

I blinked and his lips were on mine, i kissed him back. Suddenly he pulled away.

"Sorry" he blushed. "I know you don't love me"

"No, you wrong" i said, "I do love you"

I moved closer, and leant in, he moved closer too, next thing i new, we were kissing again.

We kissed for a while. Then i pulled away.

"I should go" i said.

"Nah, stay, please" He asked.

I thought, maybe i could. I do love him. "Sure" I shrugged.

He smiled. He turned the t.v on, and then turned to me, "Can i kiss you?" he asked.

I grabbed the back of his next and made him kiss me, i felt my face get hot, but i didn't care. I let my had become gental around his neck, when i new he wouldn't pull away. He put both his hands on around me, and we lay on the sofa making out.

I woke up the next morning, remembering that i had slept on Camerons chest, on the couch. Opps!

"mmm" i stretched.

I got up, and went to pee.

When i came back, Camerone was sitting up, rubbling his eyes.

"Im sorry" i said, then blushed.

"No" he shook his head, "Im sorry"

I walked over to him , and kissed his lips, "I love you"

"I love you more " He said.

B.3 Chapter 3. What, thats not right...

I slept at Freds that night, it was a comfy fold out bed. SO warm.

I woke up the next morning, with the sun blazing through the blinds.

"Hannah, morning" Fred called.

"Mmmm" i moaned.

"Whatya want for breakfast?" He asked.

"Toast, and coffee, thanks" I said, then smiled at him.

"Oh, so you do talk in the morning" He smiled back at me.

I laughed. He laughed too.

"May, i go have a shower, and stuff?" I asked, with a cute look on my face.

he laughed, "Yes, sure, shower away!"

"Thanks" I smiled, then skipped off.

The shower was great, so warm, and then i got changed, and brushed my hair.

I walked out, "Ta-da!" i struck a pose.

We laughed. "You look nice" He complimented me.

"Why, thankyou" I said, then blushed.

"You blush a lot" he said, then looked smug.

"I know" i giggled.

He handed me toast and coffee, "Thanks" I smiled.

After breakfast, i went back across to my house, and started back into my journal work, this would be my first happy one. I was so excited.

After i had worked on it for about 3 and a half hours, i heard a knock at the door, I answered.

"Hannah!" Fred said, then hugged me.

"Hello, Fred, and...." i peeked over his shoulder, " CAMERON!"

I hugged him, he hugged back.

"What do you guys need?" i asked.

"We want to have a picnic, down at the river, with everyone" Cameron said, in his husky voice, and then smiled at me. I think it mus have been the look on my face, i was listening carefully to every word he spoke. Wow.

"LEts go!" i said egarly, and ran outside. They followed laughing.

"Jeez, your a handful, and full of energy!" They said at the same time.

We all laughed, Fred ran ahead to play some football with the guys, and Cameron stayed with me. He made a couple of jokes, and made me laugh so hard, it hurt.

We go the the river.

"Hey, Hannah, Who's ya friend?" Ellie teased.

"Cameron" I mumbled.

"Anyone want beers?" Fred shouted over.

"Yes"

"Yes"

"Yes"

"Yes"

"Yes"

"Yes"

"YES!" i screamed the loudest.

Everyone laughed.

We all joked around, drinking, taking pictures, and having a blast.

"Hannah, come here!" I heard Cameron shout from under the birdge.

"Coming" i shouted back, then went over.

he was sitting right under it, and he patted the place next to him, i walked over.

"Hello" i said.

"Hi, there!"

"So, watya want?" I asked.

"I just wanted to talk" he said, slowly.

"kay" crap, that was my nervous thing, why was i nervous!?

My hand was just keeping me balanced, and his was almost touching mine. He moved his hand closer, so that it just about fitted on top of mine, then it happened i fell backwards into the river. Crap. I sat there like a drowned rat.

"CRAP!" i yelled. I felt like i could cry, i was so embarassed, my face flushed.

Cameron rushed over and helped me up.

"Thanks" i mumbled

"It's fine, but are you?" he asked.

"yes" i lied, my hip was in agonizing pain.

I got up, and limped to the picnic rug, everyone looked at me, i was soaked, and limpig.

"Hannah? What happened?!" Mel looked worried.

"I fell backwards off of the wall, and into the river" I said, then looked at the ground, i was embarassed.

"I'm leaving" i limped off, suddenly i felt someone pick me up, "AHHHH" i screamed.

Cameron was picking me up, and carrying me, "Don't worry, your light as a feather!"

I mumbled something under my breath, and he laughed.

Once i got home, he came in. He waited while i showered, and got changed.

"What a coffee?" I asked.

"Yes!" he said.

"Coming right up!" i said, then soluted him. He burst out laughing.

I laughed too.

I sat next to him, we sipped our coffee, then we decided to go back and see if they were still at the river, and they were.

We sat next to them, and i looked up i realized Cameron wouldn't stop lookng at me, i blushed.

"Cameron, why are you looking at Hannah!?" Jess blurted out.

"HANNAH!" she was clicking her fingers in front of my face.

I shok my head, "What!?" i asked.

"Nothing" she went down to the river with Dave.

I sighed, Cameron put his arm over my shoulder, and whispered in my ear "Wanna go back down?"

I nodded.

We walked down to, under the bridge. We sat on the wall, well more like against it this time. We laughed, then our hands were almost touching again, he moved his, it fitted perfectly over mine.

I smiled, and he smiled. I moved closer, and i put my head on his shoulder.

This was my happy place, I actually had a happy place. Cameron made me feel special, and I think. I think i loved him.

We turned to look at each other, then Freya ran up to us, and we pulled our hands away.

She looked smug, and then ran off again.

We looked at each other and laughed.

B.3 Chapter 2. Just.Say.Sorry

I new i had to apologize to Ellie and Freya and Fred, one way or another i had to do it.

I wandered over to Freds house and knocked on the door

He answered, "Girl with no name, hello"

I paused, "Hannah"

"Nice name" he smiled, "Yes, may i help you?"

"Im sorry" i mumbled.

"It's fine, I can see your going through a tuff time" He smiled at me apologeticly.

I still could'n't smile, it had been ages since i laughed, or smiled a real smile.

"Come in, Hannah!" he stepped aside.

I walked in, it was a beautiful house, with nice leather couches. Amazing painting on the walls.

"Wow" is all i could say.

"Thanks" he said, then chuckled.

I sat on his nice leather couch, and i felt safe.

"Want some coffee?" Fred shouted from the kitchen.

"Thanks" i shouted back.

he came through with 2 nice big cups of coffee, i sipped the top off, and closed my eyes, and breathed in deeply.

"Mmmm" i smiled. Thats when i realized it, i had just smiled for the first time in about 2 years.

"What a beautiful smile you have!" he said, He looked astonished.

"I haven't smiled in 2 years" i said, then smiled again, i hugged him tight.

"Really!?" He looked more shocked than before.

"Yes" I said, then looked at the ground.

"What on earth happened to you?" he asked, looking sorry.

"Well, i was in college, and my boyfriend of 2 years went to see his mum in his new car, and on the way back was in a bad car crash, he survived and went to hospital, but had both his legs broken and one arm, and a bad spine injury, I went to see him as soon as i heard, and he was in a shocking condition, he could barley move, and was groaning every time he talked to me, I stayed with him for 3 days, every day and every night, i didn't care what it was doing to me, I loved him, and i would never ever love anyone else, unless they made me feel the way he did" i said sadly, but feeling better after telling someone.

"Yes, and what happened?" he urged on.

"Well, after the third day, he just slipped away, into a endless sleep, and i lay with him on the floor for a day, i wouldn't leave, his last words were 'I...Love....You' " I started sobbing at this point.

He put his arm around me saying, "There, there, it's alright"

I looked up to his face, our eyes met, and as soon as they did, i oculd tell that fred was going to be my friend.

I sighed, "Im sorry"

"It's alright, come over anytime!" he smiled.

I grinned back. he looked shocked again.

I went home, and sleep the rest of the day and night.

When i said i was 21, i mean im almost 21, it's like my birthday tomorrow, but i don't care, because my birthdays will never ever be the same anymore. I mean sure i still have jason in love with me, but I don't have the person I love. He's gone and never coming back.

I woke up with it pouring with rain, i walked through into my living room, and turned the lights on.

"HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY HANNAH!" everyone shouted.

I sighed, "Morning", I then smiled at them all, hey all looked like white bits of paper.

"WHat?" i asked, with a smug look on my face.

"You.Just.Smiled" Jess, Ellie, freya said at the same time.

"Yes, it's all thanks to fred" i grinned some more.

"You mean this guy?" Dave pointed to a guy next to him

"Yes, that guy" i laughed.

Everyone looked more shocked than before, i laughed, for the first time.

Everyone cheered, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANNAH!"

"SORRY ELLIE, AND FREYA!" i yelled.

"IT'S FINE!" they yelled at the same time.

Everyone left, except Fred.

"Hannah, make sure your at my house tonight, im throughing a party for you!" Fred said.

"Oh, thankyou" i smiled.

That night i put on a nice blue dress, and left my hair curly and tied the side bits up. Put on some makeup then walked across the hall.

I knocked on the door, then looked down at my converse with my lovely blue dress, gosh i was so lame sometimes.

Jess answered, "Hannah!" she through herself at me, i cought her, and hugged her tight.

"Jess" i laughed.

I walked in to find everyone dressed up and looking at me, i smiled, they all looked mezmorized, and then they cheered. They made me feel special, which i hadn't felt like in a while.

I was drinking some creamy soda when Fred came over.

"Wow, Hannah, you look great!" he said, then blushed a little, either he blushed, or the lights went funny.

"Thanks" I blushed.

He went back over to his friends, then brought a guy about our age over, "This is Cameron"

"Hello" Said Cameron

"Hi" i said, then smiled.

"I'll be back soon, Im gonna go get a drink" Said fred, he then winked at me. What the hell!?

I gave him an evil stare, Cameron laughed.

"Happy Birthday" Cameron said.

"Thanks, Thanks for coming" i smiled.

"Wanna dance?" He asked.

"Sure" i smiled.

He took my hand and led me to the dance floor, he put his hands on my waist and i put mine around his neck. We swayed, then the music went louder and more dance like. So we let go of each other and just did free style.

I starting laughing, Cameron was doing the robot and it was so crapy, i joined in.

"WE'RE CRAP ROBOTS!" we chanted together, "WE'RE CRAP ROBOTS!"

Fred handed me a beer, and one to Cameron.

"Thanks" we said at the same time.

I giggled, and Fred bumped his hip against mine, so now we were hip bumping too. Cameron joined.

The music became soft romantic stuff, and Jason appeared.

"May I have this dance?" He asked politely.

"Uhh...i guess so" i answered. This wasn't the person i wanted to dance with, i wanted to dance with Cameron.

He put his hands on my hips and then we started swaying, he spun me around, and i tripped and fell over, trust.me. Little miss clumsy. I felt my face get hot, and then someone picked me up of the ground.

I looked up, "Thanks"

It was Cameron, "You okay?"

"yes, just a bruise, nothing special" i laughed.

"Im so sorry Hannah!" Jason called over.

I nodded, then went to get a beer. God the least he could have done, was maybe. Help me up!

I turned and almost walked into Fred.

"Oh, hello" I smiled.

"Hey, Umm...Cameron likes you, i see" he mumbled on, god he was drunk.

"Uhh. yeah, we're friends" i said, then went to walk off.

I went back to Cameron, "Hey, sexy thang, you shake that thang!" we laughed, then pretended to be hiphop dancers, shaking our booty.

We laughed more, and more.

Fred came over, "Hannah, will you be my sexy pole dancer!?"

I laughed, "Sure"

I spun around the pole pretending to be a complet slut, until i burst out laughing.

This was the best night of my life yet. Fred was one of my best friends, and Cameron was one of the nicest people i new.

"Fred? Is Tim here? and james?" i asked.

"Yeah, over there!" he pointed to a couple of seats.

I skipped over, and shouted "Tim, james!"

They stood up emegatly, "HANNAH!" they both shouted.

Tim hugged me and spun me around so much.

I laughed, but then something happened, he bent down and kissed me.

it was a little short one, "Tim!?" i asked.

"How are you?" he asked, "Long time, no see" he smiled.

"I'm better, it's all thanks to fred" i smiled at him, he waved at me, i stuck my tounge out. He laughed.

"Are you two together?" James asked.

"No, we're just good friends!" i said, then looked at him, "Why?"

"No reason" he went red.

I laughed, and so did Tim.

After the party I sat on Freds leather couch with Cameron. Fred went away to the bathroom.

I leant back against the sofa, and then i felt a hand go over mine, i looked down, to find Camerons. JUst then we heard someone come out of the bathroom, he pulled away quickly, and fred didn't even notice. What did this mean, Did Cameron like me?

It felt nice when he had his hand over mine, thats one thing i know.

B.3 Chapter 1. Slipping away from me

I walked to my house kicking a stone, just as i stepped my next step i tripped, and fell flat on my face. uhh. Great. I heard some muffled laughs. I turned around and yelled, "What the hell!?"
One of the girls replied, "What, your just stupid, gosh, wacth where your going!"
They all laughed, then walked away, they were all blonde, and must have been about 16. Stupid girls. God i hated people sometimes.
Once i was inside my house, i went to have a shower. I let the warm water burn my back, i thought to myself. This is where Andrew and I would have lived, this was the place. I sighed, then finished up my shower.
I went to the river, considering i lived about 2 streets away it was a nice place to go. Before i left, my phone buzzed, i answered, "Mmm"
"Hannah, umm...Mel, Dave and I are going to a coffee shop, wanna come?"
"..." i said nothing, "Okay"
I hung up.
I walked slowly to the coffee shop, thinking about my new job. I was a journalist. Itwas a fun job, and right now all i was writing was depressing stuff. Oh well.
When i arrived at the coffee shop, i saw Jess, Mel, and Dave, and Beth all sitting at a nice outside table.
"Hannah" Bethany said, she was 3 this year, and could say a lot of things, encluding my name.
I forced a smile, it felt weird smiling for no apparent reason, i never really smiled anymore.
"How are you?" Jess asked, warrily. They all new i was a completly different person now. They all new the horrible, painful reason behind it.
I remember that day well, unfortunetly. I wish it could just disappear or not have happened. After Andrew had died, I lay on the floor with him, for about a whole day. I cryed and cryed, im still not over it. I love him. I will never move on. Never.Ever. Unless some magical guy comes up, outta nowhere, and makes all my worries dreams. Not very likely, i know.
I shook my head, "Mmm same old, same old"
She smiled hopefully, "Well thats good-ish"
Dave waved at me, in a slight quick movement, i forced a smile. Then it happened, everything just got to much, Dave leant over to kiss Jess, the romance was major, and it brought back memories i didn't want.
"I....bye" i said quickly, then ran off.
I heard Mel say, "Nice one!" in a very sarcastic tone.
I went to mum's house, i needed a mum's hug, you know the type, they make you feel warm, and loved, like nothing is wrong.
"Yes, of course" A man said, he had a deep voice.
"Oh, Hello Hannah, this is Steve, he's one of my friends!" she smiled at me.
"Hello" i said to him.
I went to mum, and hugged her, "Well, see you soon" then i left.
As i was walking away i heard Steve say, "Is she okay, she looked a bit...unsure"
Yes, i was unsure of everything, i didn't know who was going to die next. Uhhh.

I looked a mess, i was a mess.

Just then Freya called, i answered,"...."

"Hannah, Hannah, how are you? whatya doing?" she said excitedly.

Uhh. I had almost had enough of her pepy/happiness. I was jealous that she was happy. Coz i wasn't.

I said nothing, coz i was close to craking.

"Hannah!?" she screamed, "Hannah, i know your there, you answered, so don't pretend your not there!"

"Oh, well. Maybe i don't wanna be here, just leave me alone!" i yelled, then wished i hadn't. She hung up. Shit. Why the hell did i say that, why the hell was i mean, oh, my god. I just yelled at one of my best friends. I wanted to call back, but i hadn't called anyone in so long, they always called me.

I walked down the street to my house. I got in and slumped on the floor and cryed my eyes out.
I hated life. It hated me, so why like it!?

I wanted to start over, just then i heard a removal truck coming up to the house. Huh, they must be moving into the house across the hall from me, i lived in a flat you see, so there is a few houses. Oh well. I peered out the window, and the person looked up, he saw that i was red and in tears, so he looked sorry for me, even though he didn;t know me. He had brown hair, a good length, and he was carrying about 5 boxes at once. As soon as he saw me, i ran to the bathroom. god i looked bad. I wiped my eyes, and then went to bed, it was getting quite late, but because it was summer, it was still light, so you forget about time.

I woke up the next morning, unfortunetly. Someone was knocking on my door, i peered in the mirror, i looked pretty alright. I opened the foor, in my nighty. It was the man. he looked about my age.

"Hey" He said, then smiled.

"Hi" i looked at the floor. He peered under to get my stare back to his face, i wouldn't reurn his gaze.

"Umm...yes, i saw you yesterday, well i'm new, and I'm Fred by the way" he said.

I was still looking at the ground, "Okay, i'm going back to bed now, night" i said.

He laughed, i shut the door, and went back to bed, it was only 9:30, and these days i would normally sleep till 12pm. If you haven't guess, im sleeping my life away.

Fred seeme nice, i should have been nicer, oh well. Im not exactly a person right now, so why act like one!?

Once i got up i got into my writing, for my job. The good thing about my job was, i could stay inside all day. This was my normal life pattern. It sucked, but then again, so did my life.

Ellie called, i answered, "Mmm"

"Right, why did you make Freya sad!?" Ellie sounded angry.

"I didn't mean what i said" i said, in a small voice.

"Well you better not have, we are all worried about you!" she yelled, "But clearly you don't want us around, so you can just stuff it!" she hung up.

Great, i had lost Freya and Ellie as friends now. What next!?

Jess called next, i didn;t say anything.

"Hannah, Im soo sorry about yesterday" she sounded sad.

"it's fine, i was stupid, It's my fault, don't worry....I...I....Im great" i choked the last word out.

She could tell, "Hannah, I understand your pain, when i lost my Mum, i couldn't and wouldn't do anything!"
"Sorry Jess, I love you, please don't leave me like Ellie and Freya" i said, then hung up, coz i would start crying. Just as i was holding my tears back, i started bawling.

I think Fred heard me, coz i heard a knock at the foor, i opened it will tears dripping down my face.

"Umm...Are you alright?" he asked, looking sad.

"No, im never alright, i want to die!" i yelled, then i slammed the door and ran to my room.

I heard him sigh, then walk away. He posted a note through my door, it said:
You know, Your an interesting girl, i want to get to know you, and i will make you smile, and i will find out your name.

x Fred

That was a sweet note, he wants to know me. All i've done is be mean, and yet he still comes back, whats wrong with him, is he insane? Ahh well. Aren't we all a bit mad.

He's nice, i think i'll apologise soon, once i get a hold of myself.

I had lost 2 friends, and i didn't mean it, everyone i know was getting trapped because of me...what the hell is wrong with me!

B.3 Intro...

Well, here i am. again. Oh joy.

As most of you know, I'm Hannah, I'm 21.

My boyfriends dead, and i don't talk much anymore. Basically i'm trying to aviod to much contact, it just brings back painful memories. My friends will lose interest in me, but maybe thats best. I just don't know what to do anymore. I have never felt so alone, I only answer direct questions, and i don't start conversations. I'm a mess, a really big mess. Even when you look at me, you can tell that i'm just not right. And it's true. Here's my life. It sucks.

NEWS

Okay, everyone.
Thanks for reading book 1 & book 2.
I'm sorry to say that book 2 is now over, but i will be writing a book 3 soon.
Book 3 will be called ' I have nothing now'. But i might change the name if i have a better one, but if you have any better names, please tell me, and i will think about it.

thanks again Cathy x

B.2 Chapter 18. My life is offically over...

I wondered over to Andrews door, and knocked.

Tim answered, "WHAT DO YOU WANT!?" he yelled in my face, and spat at the same time.

I giggled, "Thanks for the spit, I would like to come in, thankyou"

He shrugged, and stepped aside.

I wondere in, it smelt like...boys. I sniffed the air, then suddenly Andrew sprayed air freshener.

"Geez guys, it stinks in here!" he said, disgusted.

I ran over and hugged him, "Hello" i mumbled into his chest.

He laughed, and i felt every bit of it, because i was so close. Gosh i loved him.

"Hey honey!" he said back to me.

Tim gagged, and i kicked him in his shins, he went to the grown yelping like a kicked puppy. Mwahahahahaha.

Andrew held my hand as we went to class, we had Social studies, it was the subject we had to do since nothing else was open. Stupid late enty form. Ah well.

As we walked in people turned to look at us, i just looked at the grown, i hated when people looked at me, andrew pulled me up to the back seats.

He started kissing me, stupid Andrew, we were in class, not my bed. Still i kissed back, then when i had the chance i said, "Hey, Shouldn't we be listenign to this?"

"Maybe" he said, then smiled a cheeky smile. he put his arm around me and then we listened.

After class the teacher wanted Andrew and I to stay behind, i was hoping it was because we were late and not because of our kissing sestion.

"Right, Andrew, and Hannah, okay next time please come to class on time" she said, then smiled.

"Sorry" Andrew and i said at the same time.

As we were about to walk out she said, "And, could you please keep sexual relationship stuff out of my class"

I fely my face get hot, then walked out even faster.

Once we were out andrew burst out laughing, i smacked his shoulder, then couldn't keep a smile of my face, and the laughter out of my mouth. He kissed my forehead, "Gosh, we're silly" he said.

"Mmm-Hmm" i said, "Wanna get some lunch?" i asked.

"Sure, where to?" he pointed different ways, i grabbed his hand and rolled my eyes.

We ended up going to ' La romanza'. It's a nice resturant around the corner from campus. We got the window seat, i always liked watching the world pass me by as i was eating, it put new thoughts into my head. As i was looking out, Andrew held my hands over the table.

"Your quiet a dreamer, aren't you" he said, then smiled across the table at me.

"Mmm, i guess so, i just like thinking about things, more than once" i sipped my coffee after i spoke.

He smiled. I grinned back.

"I'm a lucky boy, having you!" He said happily.

"And i'm a lucky girl, having you!" i smiled, "Umm...what time is it?"

"Eh" he looked at his watch, " 12:45, why?" he asked.

"We gotta leave soon" just as i said that, it started pouring, why was the weather always against me.

Once we got outside we rn back, in the rain, we went to our next classes, we had to split up for most, but for 1 or 2 classes we were together.

As i was walking back with books in my hand, and my bag on the other shoulder, Ellie and freya came along, then were carrying just as many books as i was.

"Hey" i said

"Hello there, fancy finding you here!" Ellie said.

I laughed.

"Hey" Freya said.

We walked back together, then flopped onto our beds, i then decided it was time to do some studying.

After i had finished the rain had stopped and dryed up. Thank god, i didn't like it when it was wet on the ground, it meant you couldn't sit anywhere.

"Umm...Bed's coming over tonight, so can you be out tongiht?" Ellie asked politely.

"Sure, i'm gonna go annoy tim" i smiled cheekily.

They laughed

"I'll go see Jeremy" Freya announced.

I left as soon as i had eaten something, i grabbed my bag a t-shirt, and toothbrush, and went over to Andrews. i took things incase i got tired, even though i was only across the hall.

I knocked, James answered, "Hello Hannah, c'mon in"

"Thanks" i hugged him.

Then i ran to Andrews bed, and sat on it, 2 minutes later Andrew came out of the bathroom, an saw me sitting on his bed, "Honey"

"Hey" i smiled.

"OH, MY FREAKIN GOD!" Tim yelled.

"WHATS THE FREAKIN MATTER!?" i yelled back, imitating his voice.

"YOU" he glared at me, "YOUR THE PROBLEM!"

"why?" i asked in a small voice.

"Because Your alwasy here, and...I" he trailed off.

"Nuff said, What do you want to do Hannah?" Andrew cut in.

"Umm...can i hang here, and tourmet Tim somemore?" i asked, then flashed a smile at him.

"OH, MY GOD!" Tim yelled.

I laughed, then unexpectantly he laughed too.

He came over and picked me up and hugged me tight, then spun me around and around. What on earth was he up to?

"Ahhhh" i screamed.

"Having fun?" He asked.

"Sure, if you call dizzy-ness fun!" i said, then smiled. He put me down.

He went to the bathroom, i looked at Andrew and James, they were shocked, and had there mouths hanging open.

"What was that about?" I asked.

They both mearly shrugged. Tim walked out.

"Sorry, for um...being mean the other days, your really nice, and by the way i have been taking anger managment classes, and I do apologize for everything" He said.

I almost screamed, i don't even know why, but he was being so nice, maybe he was turning a new leaf. Hmmm? oh well.

"Thanks" i grinned, he gasped, i closed my mouth and went to my bag.

I sat on Andrews bed, then patted the space beside me. He came over and sat next to me.

I pulled him closer, and kissed him, he kissed back, then after about 2 minutes James cleared his throught.

I laughed, "Sorry"

These guys were my friends, just as much as the girls were, i guess Tim was too.

"It's fine" Tim said.

I was supprised he said that. I must have looked shocked coz he smiled at me. He had a really ncie smile, it touched his eyes, and made them crinkle. I smiled back.

I slept at Andrews, in his bed too, which was very very warm. Mmm so warm.

I got up and went to the toilet, and when i glanced at the clock, it flashed 2:07am. Uhh. god, well i better go to the bathroom. I sighed, and walked through.

The floor was cold, it made me shiver. After i had been i almost had a heartattack as i walked out the bathroom door, Tim was standing there, he smiled.

"Sorry" he said.

"It's f-f-fine" i stuttered through my chattering teeth.

Here, he handed me a warm jacket, "Than-k-k-ks"

I put it on, "It's fine" he said.

"Tim?" i asked.

"Myes?" he answered.

"Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?"

"Oh, i dunno, i guess i just got sick of us fighting, coz your nice!" he smiled, then went back to bed.

I whispered "Okay"

Once i fell asleep again, it felt like morning in 2 seconds, argh. Time to wake up, Crap.

Andrew turned over, and pulled me in for a kiss, i kissed back, then before i new it, i was ontop of him, by this time i realized it was only 6am, and everyone was still asleep. Apart from us of course, we were making out. He put his hands on my waist, then pulled me tighter, we were making out qiute the thing, untill the alarm beemed 6:30 and people stirred, i jumped off of him, and went to go to get my bag, thats when i realized my top was off. Why did i let Andrew take it off last night, i don't know? wait does this mean i had it off when i was talking to Tim last night. CRAP, CRAP, CRAP!

"Shoot!" i yelled.

I heard Tim and James laugh. So there i was standing in my bra and pants with no top in sight.

"Sorry for the view" i said, then blushed.

"It's not a bad view, don't worry about it" Tim said.

I laughed. Then i heard a bang, Andrew had just thrown a shoe at Tim, and it hit him hard, that was sure to make him mad, he just laughed harder.

As i was leaving i got a hug from Tim.

"Bye guys!" i shouted, then left, i got back, and found Freya doing homework, and Ellie sitting doing hers, ontop of Ben.

"BEN!" i yelled.

He pushed Ellie of, then ran to hug me, "Hannah, hello!"

I hugged him tight, "Long time, no see!" i said.

He laughed. Then went and sat with Ellie again.

I went for a walk, since Andrew was out today, he was going to visit his mum in his new car.

I went to 'our' place to sit for a while, just last weekend he had carved on the tree a loveheart with ' I love you' written in it. It made me cry tears of joy. He also stole a beanch from somewhere, and put it under the tree. It was such a nice place.

It must have been about 2 and a half hours i was sitting there listening to my ipod, when i got a call, my phone started buzzing.

I answered "Hello" i said in a happy voice, this place made me happy.

"HANNAH!" Tim screaed down the phone.

"WHAT!?"

"Umm...you need to get to Roseglass hospital as fas as you can now!" he said quickly.

"WHAT, WHAT, WHY!?" i shouted, oh, my, god if anything has happened to someone. No i can't think that.

"Okay, Andrew was in a car crash, and he's hurt badly!" he said sadly.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" i yelled then hung up, and ran, tears streaming down my face. I got into my car, and started the engine. I drove straight to the hospital. Once i got there i ran to the Reseption.

"Hi, my Partner Andrew Hail has been hurt, and i need to see him now" i said, more tears ran down my cheeks.

"Sure" she said, then clicked a few buttons then sent me up to his room.

"Andrew!" i said when i came in, "Oh, my, you poor thing!"

He was strapped to tubes and wires coming off him, he even had 2 broken legs, and a broken rib, and one arm, He also had a slight spine injury, nothing that would cause him trouble to walk.

Once he slept and woke up he started talking, he was aloud to now.

He groaned, "I'm so sorry Hannah"

"No, it's not your fault, your okay, you'll be okay!" i reasured him.

He groaned more, "No, i won't. They said i could die" then he looked like he was about to cry.

I started crying, "But i love you, so i won't let you" I choked out, "Please don't leave me"

"I'll try" he whispered.

"Are you in pain?" i asked.

He moaned, "A lot"

"Where's your mum?"

he groaned louder, "She is in the cafateria"

"Oh" I said, "Well, do you want me to get her?"

"No, i want you to come here though!" he said, then smiled slightly.

I wandered over, and sat on the chair next to him, "Yes honey?"

"Can i kiss you?" he asked.

"Yes" i said, i leaned in and kissed him. He kissed back.

The heart rate reader picked up, and i pulled away. I laughed, then he laughed, then groaned.

"Sorry, i won't make you laugh" i apologized.

"It's okay" he said, sadly, "I'm in so much pain"

"You should get some sleep, I'll stay here, don't worry" i assured him. I kissed his head.

"Okay, thanks, I love you so much" he said. once he had fallen asleep, i drifted off too.

I think it was the next day because i woke when the sun hit me from the window. Gosh it was bright.

"Andrew?" i whispered.

"Yes?" he said.

"Oh hello" i laughed, "I was checking"

he laughed, "I feel better, thanks for staying"

"No, no, it was my pleasure" i said happily.

"Hey can you ask the nurse for a drink for me?" he asked.

"Sure"

I came back with water, "Is this alright?" i asked.

"Yes" he said, "Umm...can u feed me it?"

"Yes" i laughed.

After he had finised. He fell asleep. I watched in amazment. He looked so thoughtful in his sleep. I stroked his head.

I whispered "I love you darling, Please don't leave me"

His mum came in, "Hello Hannah!" she said, then i could tell she had been crying.

I smiled apologeticly, "Hey"

"How are you?" i asked.

"Terrible, I hope he gets better!" she said, then more tears flowed over her cheeks.

I rubbed her back, and gave her a tissue, "It's okay, i hope so too"

"You wanna know something Hannah?" she asked.

"Alright"

"Well, as you know he loved you, well he loved you more than the world, and i know why, your a lovely girl, and well...you see, he was going to..umm..he wanted to marry you one day, he already told me this, and that he wanted to propose this year" she said, then looked down.

"Oh, my, thats so sweet!" i said.

"I won't tell him this, but what would your answer be?" she asked.

"It would be...a yes!" i said. Then i grinned.

"I hope he gets the chance, and i hope he lives a good long life with you!" she started sobbing, and so did i.

Andrew woke up about 10:09 pm.

"Hey honey" His mum and I said at the same time, we laughed.

"Can i kiss you?" Andrew asked me.

"Umm...okay" i walked over, and kissed him, his mum took a picture.

i laughed. She laughed too.

"You two are so cute together" she smiled then walked away.

"I love you Hannah, I always will, and i was going to propose to you this year, but i guess i will never get that chance!" he started crying.

I wiped his tears away, "Honey you will, and if you did, i would say yes" i told him

"No, i..i...i'm dying, now as we speak!" he said then bawled, "I don't want to die!"

"What, thats....thats not right, no your not aloud to" i nearly shouted at him.

He whispered "I love you hannah, i always will!"

I whispered "No, No no no no, please dont; leave me, you've all i got!"

I was crying now.

"I can't help it, that stupid bus!" he was going croaky now.

"No, please" i begged.

He choked out his last words, "I...I...Love...Y..You" then he driffted off.

I whispered, "No, come back, please"

I was sobbing but i yelled, "HELP!?"

I ran to him, no help came, "HELP!?"

"HELP, HELP!?" I yelled louder, i was sobbing my heart out. He couldn't be dead, no. I loved him to much, i'm not letting him die. No. I was crying on his chest now.

His mum came in, she saw me crying my heart out and then ran to me, "Hannah?" she asked. I wouldn't answer.

She ran to get help, they said it was too late, she cryed and then left. While i still sat there, crying, and crying. I'm never leaving him. He was my best friend, and My boyfriend. All that remained now was a body, lying limp and cold. I want him back.

" I WANT HIM BACK!" i yelled. I was crying so much, it wasn't possible how much i was crying.

The nurse came in with people to clear the room, and to take the body away, i wouldn't move. They ended up having to move me by lifting me, "NOOO!" I screamed. This wasn't happening.

"NOOOO!" i kicked and screamed.

They put the body in a room, to be checked and cleaned. I asked to go in with him for a while.

I lay on the floor, and cryed, and cryed, and cryed, and cryed. My clothes were wet, but i didn't care. I didn't want to move again.

I whispered "I love you Andrew, please come back to me"

I yelled "ANDREW YOU HEAR ME, I LOVE YOU, COME BACK!" i was going insane. Not only was i talking to a dead person, but i was lying with one..

My life was offically over, i didn't want anything else, i just wanted Andrew. Nothing will ever please me again, nothing will please me enough to make me smile the way i smiled at him. I needed him, now all i had was college for another 2 years. great. Sure i had friends, but my best friend had just dies, and he was more than that, he was my life, and it was now over.